Tuesday, 5 April 2011

The First Glimpse

Today I almost had, as I do about once every two weeks, one of my "rage" days. I describe it as such because on a "rage" day, the only thing I am likely to feel at any given moment of that day, is rage. Sounds simple enough. And it is. It is not, however, sane. At all. Which I guess is because neither am I.
Normal people start a day badly when, for example, they spill their morning coffee on their clean shirt.Or they stub their toe when attempting to leave their home. Not me. Nuh-uh. That aint how I roll.
You see, when I have a bad day it is usually triggered by the most ridiculous stimuli. Today was no different.
I was walking to the train station at around 7 am this morning. This is part of my normal travel routine to get to college.

The sun hadn't risen yet so the sky looked fairly murky, and I wasn't necessarily in a BAD mood (yet) but I wasn't doing a skip and a hop either. Just strolling along; not thinking in-depth thoughts or anything spectacular.
Then I hear the noise.
It wasn't what I would call loud or in any way annoying (to a normal person). It was just the sound of someone scuffing their sneakers on the sidewalk as they strolled along behind me. It shouldn't have even registered in my conscience. But suddenly....the RAGE started. I started hearing the sound as if it was a word being screamed in my face; "CSH! CSH! CSH!"
Luckily for the person behind me, I was seconds away from the train station. My jaw hurt from grinding my teeth. I knew from experience that this meant today would be a dangerous day for anyone around me.
Upon boarding my train, I was still angry. I couldn't get my face to stop frowning. What made it worse was that it seemed the moment I boarded the train, the murky sky had brightened. Outside, I saw nature sparkling away to itself and KNEW that it would start raining the moment I got off the train again, JUST to spite my bad mood.

So I sat there in the hideously colored seats (their hideousness had previously gone unnoticed but now, in my negatively heightened mood, they proved offensive to my senses) and I sulked and grimaced out at the world.
I probably would have gone on like that if it wasn't for a brown speck I saw right after a changeover of tracks at one of the stops in my journey.
It caught me off guard from my sulking. As the train slowly weaved through the countryside, the tracks got closer to where the dot was moving.
It was a dog, running alongside the train, chasing it. He had a look of pure contentment on his sloppy brown face.

I was transfixed by that extremely happy dog. I found myself grinning at him. Matching his goofy smile. It made me giddy watching him chasing the train. Suddenly I found that the anger from before had dissolved into a kind of relaxed feeling of wonder. Becoming happy because a dog chased a train was as equally ridiculous as getting mad at the world because I had heard someone scuffling their feet that morning.
But when I got off the train at the end of the line, that happiness didn't end. I ended up having a really good day. All because of a carefree dog. Well, I did say I wasn't quite sane...
And it never did rain in the end. :)



  1. wow! A cute and simple story.....but with a wonderful thought....sometimes, little things can mean a lot

    And cute illustrations ^_^

  2. Thanks for the comment Girl With a Silver Pen! Always nice to hear good things about my posts :)

  3. I can relate to these type of "rage" days as I am manic depressive and go through them myself sometimes. I'm glad you decided to share this rather than just keep it inside. It is funny how the simple things in life like the dog you saw can sometimes mean so much more to us than all the complications that surround us. I hope you don't run into too many more rage days in future, I am following your blog now to keep a close eye on you. ;-)

  4. Haha thanks for the Follow and for the nice comment Essay!