Friday, 8 April 2011

A second Rage Day..with a sad ending.

Clearly the world is testing me. Yesterday I had a Rage Day. Although this time there were no floppy dogs to cheer me up or divert my attention. It started because an old man bade me 'Good Morning'. This is probably an even more ridiculous reason to be angry than last time but I do have an excuse.
I had an insanely horrible migraine due to sideways-emerging wisdom teeth. On top of that there was a head--cold (not helping the headache one bit) and a serious lack of sleep (blame goes to both the head-cold and the wisdom teeth).
I arrived early to college. I shouldn't have even been there in my condition but there was a class on that was mandatory and the attendance of it counted towards a small part of my final grade. The entire building was almost deserted so I decided I would go to the room of my first lecture and rest my head there until class was due to start.
So I was on my way down the hall when I spotted another life-form walking in my direction.
It was an old man that I recognized from my lecture halls. He clearly recognized me too because he steered himself in my direction. He looked insanely cheerful for that hour of the morning. Maybe it was only because I was suffering through a high fever and migraine, but it seemed to me that he was mocking me with his cheerfulness. There seemed to be a perceptible glow around him, showcasing his joy.
He strode right up to me and in a level of volume close to a shout, greeted me with "Good Morning!".
Being sick, in pain, going through a fever and half hysterical with lack of sleep, I offered him the only response as was available to me; A warm smile and a nod of recognition. Even this was painful as my head was not fond of any movement at that moment and my jaw was in agony from the wisdom teeth. I'm pretty sure it was very obvious that I was in a bad state. I had seen my own reflection in the mirror a few minutes previous. My face was flushed an angry red, pupils dilated, a sheen of sweat from the fever and pain across my face and neck. I really was in no condition to be in college. The old man however, seemed oblivious to all of this. He crossed his arms, adopted an irritated expression and asked:"Too early to say 'Good Morning'?". Rage flicked under the surface of my skin, further igniting the fever.
The old man seemed to notice this. I parroted his greeting back to him through gritted teeth. His face lost its irritated expression almost immediately.
I then spun on my heel and walked as quickly away from him as was possible in my condition. I attended the mandatory lecture and got the hell out of there. I was fuming with anger, over such a small encounter. The man's snide tone when speaking to me had thrown me completely off my stride. I had already been struggling to get through the day and that remark had been the last straw. I sat on the train home, miserable; my head pounding, my skin on fire, my breathing labored. There was no floppy dog to amuse me this time.
And it was fucking raining.

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