Sunday, 29 May 2011

After-Party Effects

The exams and after-party of my Better Half's graduation ceremony went as expected. The initial panic and disorganisation gave way to a light anxiety and some form of order.
When I arrived at the party I had to make a choice, however. Either allow myself to break completely loose in celebration of the end of my exams (which includes copius amounts of alcohol and junkfood being ingested and dancing until my ankles bleed)...
or reel myself in so that my Better Half could be the wild one for the night.
Seeing as how it was BH's graduation and I was only finishing my first year at college, I decided to reel myself in and be good as gold. I did, however, dance my butt off and thouroughly enjoy myself but without going overboard.
Even when a small amount of alcohol is drunk, I always wake up the next day with insane cravings for food I usually avoid. When I woke up the morning after I just HAD to have a cheeseburger. It HAD to be from a fastfood place that I normally avoid like the plague. When I got that cheeseburger, I imagine the madness must have shone from my eyes. I tried to remain reserved in my behaviour but the intense desire for food made me feel savage. Is it even humanly possibly to consume an entire cheeseburger in under a second?
Then there was the hellish walk home. Even though I was now wearing sneakers instead of the totteringly high heels of the previous night, I felt exhausted from dancing and my feet felt bruised. I needed sleep, and lots of it. The walk home while hungover felt like I was dragging myself down an endless road in the middle of the desert.
When I got home, I thought the feeling of grogginess would never end. I felt miserable that even though I had restrained myself the night previously and consumed very little alcohol, I still felt tired and grumpy. I dragged myself into the kitchen and made myself a cup of Hangover Cure (i.e. tea). Tea has an interesting effect on us Irish drinkers the morning after. It effectively creates an invisible barrier between the drinker and everything and anyone else in the world.

This lasts until the very last drop of tea is gone, at which point the tea has rejuvenated our tired souls and we can face the world yet again...probably for another bout of drinking.

Monday, 23 May 2011

In a Rush

I'm meant to be studying for my final two exams right now but my head feels so full of information that my notes go all blurry when I try to re-read them. I'm taking a break long enough to do a new entry here. I'll be back to normal updates next week.
On Wednesday, I have a very full day ahead of me. It's my Better Half's graduation as well as the day of my final (and most difficult) exam. The exam finishes a couple of hours before the graduation ceremony, which means I have a very short amount of time to get home (takes up to 90 minutes), get dressed up (depending on my level of organisation, can take up to three days...) and get myself to the ceremony (for normal people, takes approx. fifteen minutes..for me we are talking days again).
I know that when I get into the exam hall I'm not going to be fully focused on my paper. My mind is going to look like The Persistence Of Memory by Dali; melting clocks flying around the place.
My biggest fear is that the amount of planning I'm going to be doing to organise the rest of the day in my head in that exam hall is going to make me vocalize my panic (which is my usual response to anxiety).
OK so it's not usually that bad...Little squeaks and mumbles is about the worst it gets. But in an exam hall filled with 300 or more silent-as-the-grave students, any little sound will resonate.

I decided to make a To-Do list in advance and pin it on my bedroom wall. That way I don't need to remember everything that needs to be done when I get home. I can do my exam and return home safe in the knowledge that Past Savvy has already got my routine planned out. 
The little 'greater than/less than' sign next to"makeup" is to remind me to put on the right amount. As you probably read in a previous entry, I tend to either under or over do it. Number 5 is in relation to my tendency to forget to feed myself when my day contains a lot of activity. Then I end up half-passing out sometime later in the evening through lack of nourishment. See that weird stain on Number 6? That's tea. 
It's not there on the actual To-Do list yet. I know for a fact that it will be there on Wednesday. That's the moment where I relax into my chair, confident I have everything sorted out. I glance at the To-Do list, see Number 6 and realize I have maybe 5 minutes to get to the ceremony. That's where I spit and/or dribble the mouthful of tea I had been previously enjoying, and high-tail it out of the house, while the people who love and care about me look on in concern.
If you're wondering why I need such a ridiculously simplified To-Do list, you obviously aren't a regular reader of this blog. It is at this point that I am obligated to tell you to run. Get out while you still can. I never get any saner! 
Without a To-Do list or intense planning-ahead, I end up an unorganized mess; combing my teeth and brushing my hair with a toothbrush, confused and in pain but unable to stop.
The good thing is, I somehow always end up looking halfway presentable even after all the madness (thanks mostly to my family and those aforementioned people watching me in concern). 
So when I reach the ceremony, there will be little or nothing to indicate that I spent the last half hour of my life having my second shower of the day to get rid of all the toothpaste from my hair. My gums will also hopefully have stopped bleeding by then.
So no-one there will ever suspect that I am anything other than a functioning adult female. They will never know the truth.
But you will, wont you?


Wednesday, 18 May 2011

Doodle Entry

I've been trapped indoors "studying" because of exams and subsequently I have a lack of things to talk about. I also have very little spare time at the moment to do a full entry. Because of this I've decided to just do a Doodle Entry this time around. It will just be a compilation of doodles I have done to bridge the gap until I'm able to do a full entry again.
So here they are. Enjoy :)
"One side will make you grow taller...and the other side will make you grow shorter."

Piggy puppet. I should design children's toys...'Coz this isn't creepy at all.

Humans are defenseless against cuteness!

Over simplified drawings are my specialty.

A Smosh poster...Savvy style.

This is me when I fail to adhere to my own personal hygiene rules.

Drawn moments after watching 'Tank Girl'.

My pretty awful rendition of Gir from Invader Zim...This is what happens when you use MS Paint and you also have completely meager drawing skills.

These exams are causing lack of socializing and stirring within me a desperate need of a cuddling.

Not really sure why I drew an enormous, kinda creepy eye...but there it is!

My current mortal enemy. After these exams I wouldn't be surprised if I had gained 20 stone. Snacking and studying go together a little TOO well.

Friday, 13 May 2011

Exam Season Is Here!

It's exam season again at college. For most students, this is where panic, anxiety and disorder reign supreme. I am no exception. I have been house-bound for the past week, holed up in my room trying desperately to keep all of the information I have painstakingly studied from leaking out my ears.
It's not going at all well.
I decided to take a break from study yesterday by playing some video games. My intention was to relax my nerves for a few hours by playing some Portal on my Xbox. However, my nerves were already so shattered that I felt guilty for taking time out for gaming. Even the turrets in Portal seemed to be accusing me as they tried to kill me.
My faithful Companion Cube said nothing but it didn't need to. It never needs to. I could just FEEL the dissapointment emanating from that pink heart on it's side.
I began to feel ashamed for doing anything that wasn't related to my studying. Even sitting down to read the newspaper made me feel guilty because it wasn't reading material accociated with my exams and therefore was outside of the list of things I was allowed to do. If anyone came into the room when I was not studying I would slink out of the room again with my head down as if I had been caught doing something unspeakable.
So I banned myself from doing anything but studying in order to prevent this feeling of guilt occuring again. I promised myself all manner of treats for when the exams were finished in order to keep me from getting distracted. I began studying feverishly, and bitterly.
And then, of course, it happened. Distraction comes easily to me and this time, as with many other times, it came in the form of another life-form. A bee. A huge one, I might add (defensively).
Wait a minute, is that the same bee from the previous blog entry?
I swear he just lives to distract me...

Studying wouldn't be such a difficult thing for me if it weren't for one irritating fact: No matter how much or how little I study, I ALWAYS come out of an exam with a completely average mark. I also ALWAYS finish the exam WAY before everyone else and then sit in the exam hall feeling anxious.
I ask myself repeatedly until the end of the exam: "Why am I finished first? Why are they all still writing? Did I write too little? Should I make up some stuff to write in order to fill in the remaining time?". When the exam is over and we are all permitted to leave, I continue worrying as people tell me how much they had written for particular questions. I do this EVERY SINGLE exam season. Yet every single exam season I come out with an average mark. I pass my exams comfortably enough. I don't get remarkable grades but I get by. This doesn't change whether I put in tonnes of hours studying or completely ignore the exams until the day they begin.
Maybe, with this thought in mind, I should just forget about study. Maybe I should go lay in the grass and enjoy the sunshine while it's here.
Because bets are on that in two months from now my results sheet will say the same thing it said last semester, no matter what I do!

Saturday, 7 May 2011

Other reasons I fail at being a functional adult...

Besides not being capable of creating one of the worlds simplest foodstuffs (see previous post), I have recently realized I have a lot of growing up to do before I can truly fit into the world of adults around me.
After my difficulty with making crepes, I started noticing other things about myself that really need improvement..
For one, I have the worst table manners imaginable. In restaurants I am the most impatient diner; fidgeting and complaining until the food arrives. When it does, forget about napkins or correctly using silverware; it's all hands and mouth. Animal instinct, baby.
Another thing I have an issue with is concentration. I might begin the day by setting goals; all full of determination and drive. Take today for example. I got up early with the sole intention of going to the library to study for my upcoming college exams. On the walk there, I got distracted by the seasonal signs of summer and ended up watching a random bee for almost ten minutes. I eventually got to the library of course, but I really doubt other adults have this issue of least not by winged insects anyway.
I have specific issues with being an adult female too. For example, I have absolutely no sense of fashion or understanding of how makeup works. When I try to put on makeup I usually use far too much or far too little. The result is, I either look exactly the way I always do(pasty and irritated), or I end up looking like an avid fan of the 'ganguro' scene.
There are other little things in my behavior too that really showcase my inner child and present me to the world as one who is really not ready to grow up.
When I play video games, I turn my body with the controller as if that will somehow aid my character on-screen in their movements. The worst is when I am playing car-racing games...I am usually seconds from tumbling off the sofa when a car takes a sharp turn because I copy it's movements
I have to be consoled/ calmed down when watching kids movies where a villain is involved. I become genuinely angry at villains in kids films and distressed by their actions; sometimes going so far as to yell abuse at them, or shout encouragements at their victims. I think I get more worked up than the children do, as they often give me odd looks when I throw things at the TV.
I talk to random animals. I know some adults have been known to do this but isn't that usually because the animal in question is their own pet that they have grown affectionate towards? And I doubt they imagine the animal responding to them. I develop personalities for the animals I come across, and I rarely know where they came from or who they belong to (which makes creating their fictional back-stories easier).
Sometimes other adults come across me as I am talking to one of these animals and it's super awkward. What the hell do you say to someone in a situation like that?
"Oh...hi there...Just chatting with Jeffrey the cat here...What's that? No, need to contact the local mental institution, I'm quite familiar to it's location thank you..."

Wednesday, 4 May 2011

The Great Crepes Failure of '11

Yesterday, on a whim, I decided to try my hand at making crepes. By myself. With no adult supervision.
You're probably wondering why I'm making such a big deal about this. Surely an able-bodied twenty-year-old can manage to make one of the most simple food treats in existence without help? ...In response to this, maybe you should read my previous posts. That may give you a clue as to why this was such a big challenge for me.
Anyway, it was a sunny day and I was hungry. That is usually a good mix for attempting to learn new food-related skills so it seemed to make sense to try a recipe I enjoyed but had never attempted (for health and safety reasons).
It started off perfectly fine, even seemed like I might actually do it right.
I began to get arrogant very quickly due to my easy start, dreaming up the world's most delicious crepe as made by yours truly. Imagining scores of fans begging for my amazing recipe. These fantasies only urged me on as I whisked the ingredients together into a batter.
I was very hungry and was beginning to imagine the crepes as I thought they would turn out like. I wandered off in a daydream as I continued to whisk the ingredients. 
My arm started to tire. The batter still didn't look quite right. There were globs of ingredients floating together and no matter how hard I whisked they stubbornly remained. It was only then I snapped back to reality and realized I had been whisking for quite some time.

A family member helpfully pointed out that the lumps in my batter were caused by the butter that I was supposed to melt prior to mixing. My crepe dreams were hopelessly shattered. Frustrated and hungry, I cleaned up the batter and spilt ingredients and wandered like a wraith through the kitchen. My stomach growled menacingly and I began to search the room for other sources of yummyness.

Sitting on one of the counters, was a lone cookie. It seemed to smile at me. Gone were my dreams of becoming a celebrity chef, a Crepe Connoisseur. All I cared about was something to fill my childish longing for sweets.
With cookie crumbs on my mouth and my tummy's urgent need for junk food momentarily fulfilled, my aspirations began to climb once more. 
Cookie Connoisseur...yeah..that has a nice ring to it...