Saturday, 7 May 2011

Other reasons I fail at being a functional adult...

Besides not being capable of creating one of the worlds simplest foodstuffs (see previous post), I have recently realized I have a lot of growing up to do before I can truly fit into the world of adults around me.
After my difficulty with making crepes, I started noticing other things about myself that really need improvement..
For one, I have the worst table manners imaginable. In restaurants I am the most impatient diner; fidgeting and complaining until the food arrives. When it does, forget about napkins or correctly using silverware; it's all hands and mouth. Animal instinct, baby.
Another thing I have an issue with is concentration. I might begin the day by setting goals; all full of determination and drive. Take today for example. I got up early with the sole intention of going to the library to study for my upcoming college exams. On the walk there, I got distracted by the seasonal signs of summer and ended up watching a random bee for almost ten minutes. I eventually got to the library of course, but I really doubt other adults have this issue of distraction...at least not by winged insects anyway.
I have specific issues with being an adult female too. For example, I have absolutely no sense of fashion or understanding of how makeup works. When I try to put on makeup I usually use far too much or far too little. The result is, I either look exactly the way I always do(pasty and irritated), or I end up looking like an avid fan of the 'ganguro' scene.
There are other little things in my behavior too that really showcase my inner child and present me to the world as one who is really not ready to grow up.
When I play video games, I turn my body with the controller as if that will somehow aid my character on-screen in their movements. The worst is when I am playing car-racing games...I am usually seconds from tumbling off the sofa when a car takes a sharp turn because I copy it's movements
I have to be consoled/ calmed down when watching kids movies where a villain is involved. I become genuinely angry at villains in kids films and distressed by their actions; sometimes going so far as to yell abuse at them, or shout encouragements at their victims. I think I get more worked up than the children do, as they often give me odd looks when I throw things at the TV.
I talk to random animals. I know some adults have been known to do this but isn't that usually because the animal in question is their own pet that they have grown affectionate towards? And I doubt they imagine the animal responding to them. I develop personalities for the animals I come across, and I rarely know where they came from or who they belong to (which makes creating their fictional back-stories easier).
Sometimes other adults come across me as I am talking to one of these animals and it's super awkward. What the hell do you say to someone in a situation like that?
"Oh...hi there...Just chatting with Jeffrey the cat here...What's that? No, no...no need to contact the local mental institution, I'm quite familiar to it's location thank you..."
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