Sunday, 5 June 2011

Babysitting and Paranoia

For the past four days I've had the run of the house. My parents went abroad for a long weekend, leaving me in charge of my younger siblings and the running of our home for the first time. I've done babysitting before but never for more than a day and my parents were always usually a phone call away.
With the amount of preparation that went into it, I was worried that within moments of my parents leaving I would end up in a corner rocking back and forth, gum and wadded paper in my hair and crayola on the walls.

This thankfully didn't happen. There was a lot of work to be done however. But the stress was a gentler, more domestic kind. Two younger siblings can create a whole lot of mess and there was general cleaning duties to be done too. I wanted the house to be sparkling clean for when my parents got back. So I armed myself appropriately..

Once the cleaning was done, my main problem was not actually the control of my siblings. It was my own paranoia.

Everything was rerun through my head every night before bed. If something clicked or hummed or especially if it went bang in the night I would immediately awake and go in search of the source of noise. I was constantly worried that the one time I had been left alone with my siblings and the house would also be the one time we got broken into. I was worried constantly for my siblings' safety rather than the safety of the house or myself. They are at the age where they are permitted to go outside with friends until late. If they returned even two minutes after curfew I was livid with rage and fear. How could I protect them if they weren't around me? These four mere days of constant worry and edginess have driven me to make a resolute conclusion about my life.
I am NEVER having children.


  1. Haha I remember feeling just like this! But don't worry, the paranoia will wane once you've done it a few more times.

    About how old are these siblings?

  2. Haha thanks for the comment! I really hope it does! They are 11 and 13 and usually little hellraisers!